God Any Advice for God?

"Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord? Who knows enough to be his teacher or counselor? Has the Lord ever needed anyone's advise? Does he need instruction about what is good or what is best?" Isaiah 40:13-14 (NLT)

As I read this passage this morning I was struck at how often I am guilty of "giving the Lord advise" in my prayers. Does He need my advise? Obviously not. Does He need my counsel? Somehow, I don't think so!

I'm very thankful that we have a God who regularly overlooks my poor choice of wording when I pray, that He sees my heart instead of just hearing my words. Sometimes I mispeak and God hears the good in my heart instead of the poorly worded request that comes from my lips. If I'm honest with myself, though, I know that there are other times when I've "cleaned up" the words I speak but the sentiment of my heart truly is to manipulate or "instruct" God in what needs to happen in a given situation. How arrogant of me!

Have you ever prayed "Lord, please help this other person ____________________" (fill in the blank), when what you mean in your heart is "Lord, let this person do what I want them to do"? Were you secretly trying to give God instructions or counsel about what He should do? You may have convinced yourself that you were praying what's best for that person, yet what you were really praying was the equivalent of giving God instructions.

Although I often fail, I try to pray Scripture rather than solutions. Once while teaching on this subject I was asked the following question: "I have a friend who is about to lose his job. Shouldn't I pray for him to keep his job?" My response was that while we know that it's God's will for the man to provide for his family, we don't know that it is God's will for him to have that particular job. As we learned more about the situation it became clear that the friend was in jeopardy of losing his job because his boss was asking him to do unethical things and he was refusing. In the midst of the crisis of needing to provide for his family both he and his friends were losing sight of the fact that God may have orchestrated these circumstances to move him into a new position. If I had prayed that he not lose his job, I might have been praying against the will of God. Rather, if I prayed that God would enable him to continue to provide for his family, enable him to see the "way out" (1 Cor 10:13) of this situation, continue to teach him His ways and conform him to the image of Christ, I would clearly be praying in God's will.

This doesn't always come easy for me. I'm a person who seeks solutions. It's the way my mind works. I see or hear of a problem and my mind immediately begins to brainstorm solutions. It's one of the ways I tend to be more like men than women. When women share problems with their husbands they are often frustrated because their husbands go into "fixit" mode immediately instead of just listening and being compassionate. I am more like that husband. When I hear a problem I automatically go into "fixit" mode. I've had to train myself to listen longer and then make my suggestions in a milder way than comes naturally to me. (I am admittedly better at this sometimes than at other times.)

This personality trait serves me well in many areas of my life. But it's totally inappropriate in my relationship with God. God doesn't need me to offer suggestions about how to solve a problem. He has already put the solution in motion. Scripture teaches us that He is always at work in our circumstances, past, present and future. My job is to watch and to listen. If my prayers were more "watch and listen" focused, I undoubtedly would have a more Christ-like walk with the Lord. (Ouch!)

Lord, as I look to 2008, help me to NOT (advertently or inadvertently) give You advice and instructions. Your wisdom is greater.

A Season of Thanksgiving and Praise

The Thanksgiving and Christmas season offers so many opportunities to crash and burn! Over Thanksgiving weekend I was in a department store and saw the holiday decorations and I promised myself that this year I would NOT over plan. I promised myself that I would build in time to enjoy the season. Almost immediately things began to pop up that want to take a bigger bite out of my time than I thought they would. Many are good things. More work is good. Visiting with friends is good. Leading a New Year's Eve worship time is good. But I am resolved to be like Mary and choose the "better part," not just the good part.



So I am building in "holiday enjoyment" time this year. Some of that will be just plain fun. Some of it will be spending more time with God, reflecting on His message for me this season. I'm not going to feel guilty about what I'm NOT doing so that I can do these things because I believe that doing these things will honor God MORE than being harried and hassled all season. That's what choosing the better part means.


Resist Stress

One of the things I'm doing is actively resisting stress (is that in and of itself stress-creating? it can be if you're not careful) and practicing enjoying the season. But I don't always get it right. Last week one day I said to Phil "I'm really stressed about meeting this deadline." His response was priceless (if not original). He said "And how's that working for you?" In other words, "is being stressed about meeting the deadline helping in any way?" Of course, the answer was "no." So I took a deep breath and asked God to help me release the outcome to Him as I did my best to meet the deadline. I'm working on "apprehending" or "taking hold of" the grace that God has for me each day (but that's a blog for another day).


Stop Grumbling

Our pastor has helped, as he's preached 2 messages on being grateful and not grumbling. I need to be reminded of that from time to time and I appreciated the messages. When I'm overly busy or tired, it's easy to fall into the trap of complaining. And once fallen in, it can be hard to snap out of it. Something inside of me actually enjoys grumbling! Isn't that horrible? But I bet you're like that too. I've found that most people are. Yet when we can get out of the trap, life is SO much more enjoyable. And of course we are much more a reflection of God's grace and peace to the world.
Say "Thank You" to God...In Writing

Here's one activity I recommend. Find a time (or make a time) to sit down and actually write a Thank You letter to God. I find that writing it down makes me think more and makes the whole process more "real" or "true" than just praying silently or aloud. I was amazed at how quickly I was able to create a Thank You letter to God that was 2 typed pages. I was also amazed at how far-reaching it was. I thanked Him for things that I don't routinely thank Him for (because quite frankly my thank You's are often quick and a prelude to what's next -- Ouch!). What that really means is that I was thankful for things I don't usually reflect on. And what that means is that I am more thankful after writing the letter than I was before writing it because I am more aware of the things I have to be thankful for.


Try it...you'll like it...and you'll glorify God more.

Sacred Ephods or Idols?

22Then the Israelites said to Gideon, "Be our ruler! You and your son and your grandson will be our rulers, for you have rescued us from Midian." 23But Gideon replied, "I will not rule over you, nor will my son. The LORD will rule over you! 24However, I have one request. Each of you can give me an earring out of the treasures you collected from your fallen enemies." (The enemies, being Ishmaelites, all wore gold earrings.) 25"Gladly!" they replied. They spread out a cloak, and each one threw in a gold earring he had gathered. 26The weight of the gold earrings was forty-three pounds, not including the crescents and pendants, the royal clothing of the kings, or the chains around the necks of their camels. 27Gideon made a sacred ephod from the gold and put it in Ophrah, his hometown. But soon all the Israelites prostituted themselves by worshiping it, and it became a trap for Gideon and his family. Judges 8:22-27


Gideon made a "sacred ephod" in good faith from the spoils of the victory the Lord gave him. He meant it as a memorial, a reminder of the faithfulness of God...but "soon all the Israelites prostituted themselves by worshiping it." How easy it is for us to worship the thing we’ve created instead of the One who made it possible for us to create it! How easy it is for us to worship the thing we can see instead of the One who is unseen! How easy it is for us to worship the past instead of the One who gives us a future!


Wow! each of those last three sentences could be a sermon or sermon series! No sermons or sermon series here, but how about a few thoughts to touch your spirit.


What might you or I have created that we are tempted to worship instead of worshipping the One who made it possible? We can make an idol out of anything. Has your career or position in society (or the church) become your idol? How about your marriage (or pursuit of marriage) or your children? Maybe you’ve made an idol out of your leisure time or hobby? Then, there’s always the house and/or car. Perhaps you’ve made pain and/or suffering your idol.


Are you more concerned about any of these things than you are about pursuing God wholeheartedly? Do you make sacrifices for these things that should really be made to God (or not be made at all)? Everything we’ve received in our life has NOT been received by our own efforts alone. It has all come from the hands of a loving and merciful God.


How is one to worship the unseen? I don’t know about you, but it’s WAY easier to worship the thing that is seen, than the One who is unseen! The Message Bible describes Jesus as "this invisible but clearly present God" (Romans 8:9). Worshipping the Invisible begins with acknowledging that He is present. He is everywhere all the time (omnipresent), but unless I seek His presence, I miss it. In the winter 2007 issue of "Christian History and Biography" Richard Foster writes of a book by Jean-Pierre de Caussade called The Sacrament of the Present Moment saying that it "changed forever the way I look at ‘ordinary’ life" (page 50).



Caussade urges us to experience each moment "as a holy sacrament, a visible sign of invisible grace." Is this perhaps the connection...the link that allows us to worship the One who is unseen by seeing Him in what is seen? That’s whag Caussade is suggesting. What an adventure it would be to embark on such a journey, because it would be an adventure of constantly seeking God (the Invisible). And God’s Word tells me that this seeking will result in finding: "If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you," says the LORD." (Jeremiah 29:13-14a, NLT)


Letting go of the past to worship the God of our future: David Seamands has a book called Putting Away Childish Things. It’s an excellent book about identifying and dealing with past hurts, attitudes and wrong thinking that yield responses in our lives today that limit what God wants to do with our future. You migth be more familiar with the book by Joyce Meyer, The Battlefield of the Mind. The premises for both books are similar, but I found Seamonds’ book to be the more insightful/thoughtful. In reading his book, I was able to identify incidents and patterns from childhood that shaped how I responded to situations today. Identifying them was the first step toward "putting them away" (1 Corinthians 13:11).


Sacred ephods...things created in good faith that have become objects of worship, idols. "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." (Jonah 2:8 NIV) Let’s not settle for worshipping the ephod. Let’s worship the One who gives perfect gifts.

Of Storks, Ostriches, Horses and Joy

The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully, but they cannot compare with the pinions and feathers of the stork. She [the ostrich] lays her eggs on the ground and lets them warm in the sand, unmindful that a foot may crush them, that some wild animal may trample them. She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers; she cares not that her labor was in vain, for God did not endow her with wisdom or give her a share of good sense. Yet when she spreads her feathers to run, she laughs at horse and rider. Job 39:13-18, emphasis mine

When I read this scripture I am amazed at God’s joyfulness at each unique thing He has created – each bringing Him joy in their own way. He doesn’t judge the ostrich for her lack of sense and wisdom or her inability to fly like the stork. He simply acknowledges it as part of how she was created. But then He points out the joy that is her own. He says, “But, Oh, when she spreads her wings to run, she laughs at the horse and rider.” That brings to my mind the picture of a woman riding a horse as fast as it will gallop, her hair flying behind her while she’s laughing in the wind at the fun she’s having. The laughter of sheer freedom, joy and even victory. That’s how the ostrich feels when she runs. And God, in writing about it, takes great joy in the ostrich for what He has given her, without finding fault in her for what she may lack.

I think God sees all of us similarly. We each bring our own unique joy to Him. He is not critical of our human frailties because He knows how we were made. We beat ourselves up for our failures before God, not really expecting ourselves to be perfect all the time – just this time. But God knows how we were made and He expects more failure from us than we expect from ourselves. And He has made a provision for it through His grace.

I'm not excusing sin. Sin is serious and we need to repent and return to God. But not all failure is sin. Sometimes, failure (or perceived failure) comes just from doing something God has not endowed us with the wisdom or good sense to do. Instead, he's created us to shine in other areas, and when we find those areas, our service brings us and God great joy.

Grieving Progresses — Bittersweet and Missing Dad

Bittersweet
Saturday morning at Niagara Falls was a bit bittersweet for me. As I sat in the observation lounge and watched the Falls I realized that the first time I had been to the Falls my dad had taken me there. I am thankful that my grieving has progressed and I can call the morning bittersweet. It took awhile for me to be able to experience the sweetness. But I remember how we had to get up in the middle of the night, because Dad was a truck driver and truck drivers NEVER start trips when it’s daylight. They want to be at their destination by daylight. At least that’s how my dad was. So we three kids put on warm clothes and piled into the back seat of the car. I don’t remember much about the Falls themselves. Just the trip.

I’ll Have to Tell Dad
Lately I frequently seem to have the thought "I’ll have to tell Dad that." And then I realize that I can’t. I don’t remember thinking that I should tell Dad something very often when he was alive. I guess it’s reached the point where I miss talking to him. When he was alive I visited regularly, but we didn’t talk much. He wasn’t a talker and we didn’t have much in common. Early in my adult life I didn’t tell him things about my life because I knew he’d let me know that he thought whatever I was saying or doing was foolishness. Later in my adult life I’d tell him those things just to enjoy him telling me what foolishness it was. Maybe that’s part of growing up. I’d learned that what was foolishness to him was often right for me. I reached a point of knowing that’s just how Dad was and that we were very different. Him telling me it was foolishness was his way of trying to protect me from doing things he would never do. I miss it.

God's Mighty & Beautiful Power

After visiting a client on Friday, Phil & I spent the weekend in Niagara Falls, Canada. We love looking at the Falls. After being there a day or so, both Phil & I look out at the Falls and think "they haven't turned them off yet!" Now I know that's pretty stupid, but it's the reaction we both have...the Falls are ALWAYS tumbling over the edge with unbelievable force! When you go down and see them at street level the power (and sound) is amazing. I'm mesmerized by it. And every five feet or so, the view is different.

As we stared at the falls on Saturday afternoon, Phil said “I wonder how many times that water has flowed over the Falls. That made no sense to me, having the non-scientific mind that I have. How could the water back up and go over the edge again? He then explained that the water at the bottom of the Falls is picked up as condensation, winds can carry it back to the top side of the Falls where it can then rain into the Niagara river and go over the falls again. (Yes, I knew about this process, it just never occurred to me.) What a wonderfully self-replenishing world God has made for us!

God Holds Creation Together
Sunday morning I went up to the observation area of the hotel and watched the sun rise over the Falls. I was thinking about how Phil & I both have this "they haven't turned the Falls off yet!" reaction. And then it occurred to me that God could turn them off in an instant if He wanted to. It'd be nothing for Him to stop the tremendous force of the rushing, falling water. In fact, it'd be nothing for Him to REVERSE the flow.

It then occurred to me that the only reason they continue to flow is because God holds the world He has created together. Colossians 1 tells us:

15Christ is the visible image of the invisible God. He existed before God made anything at all and is supreme over all creation. 16Christ is the one through whom God created everything in heaven and earth. He made the things we can see and the things we can’t see — kings, kingdoms, rulers, and authorities. Everything has been created through him and for him. 17He existed before everything else began, and he holds all creation together.

Christ holds all creation together. That means that if he didn’t hold the Falls together, they wouldn’t continue to fall. I don’t know what they’d do, but I think it’d have something to do with no gravity and things tearing apart.

God Speaks
As I watched the sunrise, the sun was hidden behind the huge mist that rises from the falls. It is so dense and large sometimes that it obscures the Falls altogether. It even blocked out the sun…but it couldn’t obscure the beautiful colors created by the light and the mist. I was able to see the outer rings of a horseshoe-shaped rainbow that encircled the mist in front of the Falls. Imagine it…white, smoky mist rising from the surface and puffing out from its center with a brilliant red, orange and yellow “crown” around it.

You know, I can’t always see the Son, but I am so very thankful that when He is hidden, there are brilliant “crowns” that display His glory.

Psalm 19 says it best:
1 The heavens tell of the glory of God. The skies display his marvelous craftsmanship.
2 Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known.
3 They speak without a sound or a word; their voice is silent in the skies;
4 yet their message has gone out to all the earth, and their words to all the world. The sun lives in the heavenswhere God placed it.
5 It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroomafter his wedding. It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.

Passionate about...

Back in February, I read the following on a website for a hip fast food restaurant chain. As most hip places do, they've totally changed their site since I copied the text so I can't send you there to read it for yourself. It's a great place, but I thought I should conceal their identity to protect the innocent! Take a minute to read what they've written.

[XXX is] a company out to create a new kind of business: a business about great people, breakthrough brands and passion for what we do. We’re not talking about your everyday, run of the mill type of passion, either. This is a passion verging on insanity. Our goal is simple, to create a world of [XXX] Fans, one mouth at a time. We’re always on the lookout for partners who can help us make this a reality.

What sets us apart is originality and vision. Our "why not?" attitude challenges us to take risks others in the industry won’t take. The result? Groundbreaking concepts consumers love and opportunities franchisees can’t wait to be part of.

Each of our breakthrough concepts is unique in its own right. We combine braggable food with a healthy twist to create fresh, innovative concepts in environments that resonate with consumers.

Does this describe how Christians should be or what? How the church should be or what? I was so struck by this description when I read it that I had to copy it into my journal. Lord, make us more like the world in ways that we should be like the world! Give us more passion for you than the world shows in their business. I want to be a part of a group of Christians who are as passionate about Christ and the Gospel as these people are about their business!

Consumed with the Gospel

Last Wednesday evening we studied Paul's pastoral epistles -- his letters to Timothy and Titus. As the pastor was giving an overview of the three letters, I found myself distracted by the content of the letters! (Being distracted by the Word of God -- what a great thing!)

What caught my attention is that the Apostle Paul presented the Gospel in nine of the thirteen chapters of these three books. I was amazed by this. Remember the setting. Paul is writing to leaders of churches, men he had discipled and set in place as pastors. Paul calls both Timothy and Titus "my true son" in the faith (1 Tim 1:2, Titus 1:4). Undoubtedly these men know the Gospel message. Undoubtedly Paul knows that these men know it. Yet Paul repeats it ten times in thirteen chapters.

The question I have to ask is "Why?"

• To encourage himself? (Remember, he was in prison and soon to be executed)
  
• To encourage Timothy and Titus? (They were young and had their share of struggles)
  
• To reinforce the many facets of the Gospel? (watch for a future post on this)
  
• Because he was consumed by it -- it was what he lived and breathed?

It was probably a combination of all of these, but as we discussed this discovery at the end of the study, we concluded that the most prominent reason was probably because he was consumed by it. Paul lived and breathed the Gospel.

I love to watch interviews between secular media and Billy Graham. He very naturally includes the Gospel message in almost every answer. I watch amazed that he can do it so frequently without coming across as preachy or avoiding the questions. Politicians put forth the same message but it's often at the expense of answering the question. Billy Graham was able to answer questions while including the Gospel.

The same was true of the Apostle Paul. I want to say "it's their gift." But I think that's a copout. I think it's much more like that they were/are more consumed with the Gospel than I am. I want my passion to be as Paul's:

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:7-11, NIV

Paul says he considers everything in this life that he might otherwise have considered of value rubbish! And that what he wants is only to know Christ. I'm not there. I am not consumed with Christ as I'd like to be. There's still way too much rubbish in my life!

The Unforced Rhythms of Grace

OK, so I’m stealing the title from my pastor’s sermon yesterday. But he stole it from Scripture, so I think that’s OK!

I’m not a big fan of the Message Bible. It’s usually a little too hokey for me. But read this passage:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.  Matthew 11:28-30 (emphasis mine)

Tonight on "Dancing with the Stars," several couples will dance the Viennese Waltz. It’s a beautiful dance with graceful swirls amidst the rise and fall of the dance. It appears effortless. It flows with the rhythm of the music.

"Learn the unforced rhythms of grace" Jesus tells us. Here's the Sandy Hovatter amplified version: "Learn to dance with me to the music I’m playing as the backdrop for your life. The music will have it’s own tune, unique to your life, created especially for you with crescendos and decrescendos, measures to be lived quite softely and others to be lived with great gusto. I’m writing it uniquely for you, note by note, to lead you into and through the purposes I have for your life."

Wow!

Lessons from Ballroom Dancing
Phil and I have taken ballroom dance lessons periodically over the past ten years. We love it, but we’re really not very good at it. In all these years, we’ve barely progressed beyond beginner. But even a beginner learns a few things:

1) Only one person can lead! When two people lead you are constantly fighting one another and you’re likely to end up on the floor as you lead each other in opposite directions.

2) If the wrong person leads, the dance doesn’t flow properly. It just looks (and feels) wrong.

3) Find someone who knows more than you do and follow them.

4) Finding and following the flow and rhythm of the music covers a multitude of wrong steps.

5) Quit stressing about getting it perfect — you’ll get better each time, so enjoy the process and laugh at your mistakes. (Every teacher we’ve had has told us that we have to do every step a thousand times to really learn it — and they all suggest practicing the steps as we walk down the street! People who love to dance don’t seem to care if others laugh at them.)

I doubt that you need me to make the spiritual applications here, but how can I resist?

• When following Jesus, only one person can lead — the Lord! When I take the lead, falling is never far behind. At the very least, the flow of my dance (i.e., my life) disintegrates rapidly.

• I’ve always found that being around people who love God more than I do greatly enhances my love for God. I try to find these people and hang around with them.

• Walking in grace covers a multitude of mis-steps. Keeping my connection with the Lord strong allows me to flow in His rhythm, so even when I miss His lead, I don’t get far before sensing that He’s changed directions.

• A question I try to ask often is "In the light of eternity, how important is it?" Almost all the time, the answer is "not very." So let it go. Don’t get angry because your husband is doing that thing that annoys you...again. Don’t be discouraged because you’re not the person you want to be yet. Keep practicing. You’ll get the steps down. Don’t give up. Laugh at your mistakes (not at your sin, at your mistakes, there’s a difference) and try it again.

I’m ready to treat life as a wonderful dance between my Savior and me. Who knows, it might end up looking a whole lot like a Viennese waltz.

An afterthought: When Phil and I are dancing, I am most likely to "steal" the lead when I become bored — when we're not doing anything interesting. If I were to examine my life, I bet I'd find the same to be true of the times I've "stolen" the lead from Christ. As if I know what's best for me, right? Wrong!

Three Funerals and a Blog

The father of a friend died last week and we went to the funeral service yesterday. It’s my third funeral in six months. But it was the first of the three in which I didn’t have a role and I wasn’t overwhelmed with grief. I was able to participate in the service without being consumed by the content of it. It gave me an opportunity to hear some "new" things from God. (Granted, these may not be new to you, but they are new for me.)

On Heaven
The service began with worship because the man had loved God and loved to worship. The church was arranged with two sections of pews and a center aisle. As the crowd began to clap, I had a vision of those clapping around the finish line of a marathon, cheering the runner on to victory and to completion. What a different way to view our entrance into heaven! I had always thought of it as being met by Jesus or an angel or perhaps one or two family members who have gone before me. It was a "slow, gentle" welcome. But this "new" pattern is more exciting to me. Not because I’m looking for adulation, but because of the joy that it holds — the "welcome home, hero!" kind of feel it has to it. It’s a celebration at the finish line with friends and family who have gathered to share my joy and cheer me on as you make my final steps. And everyone in heaven is my family and friend, even those I don't know yet. We are kin in the Spirit.

Of course, the difference between this finish line and the finish line of the marathon is that as you approach the finish line of this life, you are restored with each step. No longer pulled down by the things of earth, you are stronger, lighter, healthier, happier. You are whole in every sense of the word. Can you see the scene in your mind's eye?

I want to hold this new perspective on entering heaven in my mind. It is much more encouraging to me than the quiet, gentle leading by a loved one talking softly to me as we enter the Gates of Heaven. You may prefer the soft, gentle entry into heaven and that’s fine. But I’m looking forward to the celebration! Fortunately, Our God is not a one-size-fits-all kind of God. He is unique and creative in every way. I’m sure He’s arranging the entrance into heaven that is beyond best for each of us, just as He is creating mansions unique to each of us, and just as He creates a life — and purpose in life — that is unique to each of us.

On Hell
As the funeral service progressed and the father of the deceased spoke, I remembered the very difficult days after my dad died. What struck me the hardest at that time was the absolute separation. How very strange it seemed to me that the separation should be so painful when in a way separation from my dad was normal — we lived 50 miles apart, so we were only "together" about once a week. But it "felt" different. This was an "absolute separation."

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is some kind of spiritual connection among the living and when someone dies that connection is broken. When Phil’s mom died, he came up with this analogy: when a computer network is turned on, the system is always sending out impulses to other computers, checking to see if they are still connected. This is called "pinging" and it's a continuous process. Without us being aware of it, it seems that our spirits "ping" for the spirits of those we love constantly and we receive an unconscious knowing that they are there. When someone dies, that ping goes out from us but is not returned. At an unconsious level there is a brokenness, a void, a missing connection that pushes itself into our consciousness and alerts our brain that "something is very wrong here." Our brain then transmits that information to our emotions.

That missing connection creates a kind of darkness (a void, a black hole), of internal pain that doesn’t go away quickly or easily. It’s a very strange pain because it really hurts, but there is no physical attribute to it. In other words, you can’t say "my arm hurts" or "my head hurts." I guess saying "my heart hurts" would be the closest, but even that misses the mark because I’m sure it’s not like the physical pain of a heart attack.

As I thought about this during the funeral, I had a greater insight into hell than I've ever had. Hell is eternal separation from God. I’ve known that for years. But now I have a greater understanding of the pain of it. Hell is that absolute separation from the Giver of Life for all of eternity. It is the constant pinging that is never responded to. It is the darkest of darkness, the largest of black holes. And as time passes, it doesn’t lighten or soften as the pain of separation from a loved one who has died. Instead, it deepens, it grows because there is never hope of escaping it. There is never a lessening of it.

On Hope
I’m reminded of two passages of Scripture:

Romans 7:24-25 (NLT)
"Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord."

1 Corinthians 15:51-58 (NLT)
51But let me tell you a wonderful secret God has revealed to us. Not all of us will die, but we will all be transformed.... 53For our perishable earthly bodies must be transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die.
54When this happens—when our perishable earthly bodies have been transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die—then at last the Scriptures will come true:
"Death is swallowed up in victory. 55 O death, where is your victory?O death, where is your sting?"
56For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. 57How we thank God, who gives us victory over sin and death through Jesus Christ our Lord!
58So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

Uncomplicating the Complicated...I'm Not There Yet!

I have this recurring theme in my mind...simplify, uncomplicate, rest...

Yet the world is screaming "more, more, more."

I’ve begun a new venture...we’re adding a book publishing capability to Data Designs, in part because writing books is something I’ve always wanted to do and my dad’s death kind of pushed it to the forefront (but that’s a long story that would lead to complicating this blog!).

One of the books I want to write is about honoring the Sabbath and as I meditate on the subject, I think it has a whole "uncomplicating life" component to it...hence, the recurring mantra in my head.

It’s just that I can’t quite get there...

Anyway, today I’m researching some topics that it feels like the rest of the world knows about and I’m stupid about. RSS Feeds and Feed Readers is one of those topics. The problem is that everywhere I end up I find nothing but overwhelming details about way too many options describing features that I’m not knowledgeable enough to compare. (How important is that feature compared to this other feature?)

My point...admittedly made in quite a round-about, complicated way...is that life offers so many options these days that we are constantly being barraged with "opportunities" to enhance our lives. And for each opportunity, as I see it we’re faced with three options: Ignore all of them, evaluate each one of them, or evaluate only those that have been created by someone who knows how to write a great grab-your-attention headline. I hate those choices! I guess what I want is a great personal assistant who will evaluate all of them and only forward the great ones to me! :-)

But life doesn’t work that way for most of us. Most of us have to make our own choices.
It occurs to me, though, that the Holy Spirit really is (or can be) our personal assistant. Now don’t get upset at that sentence...I mean no disrespect whatsoever. But Scripture says that the Holy Spirit will lead and guide us. And while He will clearly lead and guide us into spiritual Truths, He can also help us "number our days aright," (Psalm 90:12, NIV). Isn’t that what I’m really looking for? Someone to help me make right decisions about even the most mundane (or technical) of issues.

The problem (or at least ONE of the problems) is that I often forget to ask for help. I often get bogged down in the details and begin to feel like I have to make a decision. And if ever there was wrong thinking, that’s it. Thinking that I’m responsible for everything in my life. God never intended it that way. Yes, I’m to be responsible for my actions, but He never intended me to go it alone. He truly wants to be a part of all the decisions, whether they seem to have "spiritual" implications or not...because when all is said and done, everything has spiritual implications.

I’d like to make a renewed commitment to asking the Holy Spirit to help me "number my days aright" — beginning with time with God and continuing all the way through to the decisions about which DSL speed to upgrade to. Care to join me?

Comment from dansdesk
Great thoughts! I have two comments: one spiritual and the other not so much. I, too struggle with asking for the Spirit's help in the simplest to the most complex of decisions. Several recent studies reinforce the need to do that. In Just Walk Across the Room, Bill Hybels emphasizes that we need need to begin conversations, take an interest in people, and then let the Spirit guide us. That assumes that our relationship with God is good enough to hear the Spirit.My more practical comment is that I've developed a system in how to decide what new things things I need to research or do. I never go cutting edge on anything -- technology, ministry, theology, fads, etc. I let the dust settle, the bugs to be worked out, the systems in place, and the prices to go down. RSS is actually rather simple now at least compared to what it used to be. Those are my two cents. Have a great day. Keep writing and I'll buy a book of yours but I would expect it to be autographed! Dan
Tuesday October 9, 2007 - 09:28am (EDT)

Response from Sandy
Great advice. We agree...never buy totally cutting edge. Version 1.0 never works well. :-)And your spiritual advice is right on...but how easy it is for us to fall into the trap of forgetting to have the conversation with God on the mundane stuff. Lord, lead me out of my self-sufficiency, even in (or especially in) areas where I could be self-sufficient.Be blessed! And thanks for your comments and I'll hold you to your promise to buy the book! :-)
Saturday October 13, 2007 - 03:24pm (EDT)

Worship

I wasn’t feeling well over the weekend and they were having a "So You Think You Can Dance" marathon on television. So I watched (and watched and watched).

I was struck by something one of the dancers said. One of the judges asked what kind of formal training she had. Her response was "I love dancing so much I’ve dabbled in all styles. There’s probably not a style that I haven’t had some training in."

Wow! That’s how I want to be as a worshipper! I want to love the Lord so much that there’s not a "style" of worshipping Him that I haven’t dabbled in.

Caveat: Yes, I know that worship is more than music. I’m focusing on worship through music here, although the concept can be applied to all areas of worshipping God, whether through prayer, Bible study, service, etc.

I believe that a true worshipper ought to be able to worship God to any kind of (worship) music.
Sure, there will be a few styles which are easiest for you to worship God through, but if you can only worship God through a specific style, it seems to me that you’re limiting your worship experience — and that means you’re limiting how God might speak to you. God is an infinitely-faceted guy, so I believe He can speak to me through hymns, contemporary worship, yes, even worship music with a country sound (horror of horrors, my style is much more rock-n-roll). And I also think that it’s quite possible that what He has to say to me (or perhaps it’s what I might hear) will be slightly different when I’m worshipping to hymns, rock-n-roll worship music, and reggae worship.

I want to be able to say "I love worshipping God so much that I’ve dabbled in all styles of worship music for the glory of God and to know Him better."

Will you join me in this endeavor?

The Honor to Suffer – Philippians 1

"For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for Him..." Philippians 1:29

We've been "granted" two things: To believe in (on) Christ, and to suffer for Him. Some translations say we've been "given the privilege" or "given the honor" to do these two things. I surely count it a privilege and an honor to believe in Christ and to serve Him. But do I count it a privilege and honor to suffer for Him? Clearly Paul did, but...

In preparing for our Bible study on Philippians, Phil looked up the word that is translated "granted." Are you ready for this? It will knock your socks off! At least it did mine.
The word is "charizomai" and it's a derivative of the word "charis" that was translated "grace" in verse 2 of this chapter. See Grace, the Double-Powered Prayer for more on that.

Charizomai means "to freely give something out of kindness or as a favor, which will help or rescue the person receiving it." OK. Let's put it in context:

"I have (you have) been freely given (out of the kindness of God) the privilege of believing in Christ and that belief will help or rescue you." Cool! I like that!

"I have (you have) been freely given (out of the kindness of God) the privilege of suffering for Christ and that suffering will help or rescue you." Say what?

My suffering has been given to me out of the kindness of God...that means it's not always from the enemy, but from the hand of God, out of his kindness! (Kindness?) And it will rescue me. (Rescue me?)

I think it's important here to point out that we're not talking about receiving the discipline of God. We're talking about suffering for Christ. Suffering injustly simply because of our faith in Christ and/or serving Him .

And (amazingly) this is found in Philippians, the book commonly referred to as "the book of Joy." I repeat...Say What???

We asked our group how this could possibly be...how can suffering rescue us? How can it possibly be out of the kindness of God? Here's some of the answers we came up with:
- It teaches us to focus on Christ and things of eternal value - It gives us more opportunity to know the goodness of God when He rescues us - It gives us more opportunity to know the goodness of God's people when they support us - It teaches us compassion for others - It strengthens our "love muscle," teaching us to love when it's not easy to love (Don't look now, but I think that list comes awfully close to defining spiritual maturity.)

All of this is consistent with the message of joy that Paul presents in chapter 1. Over and over again we see that the joy Paul possesses is a joy that comes out of seeing what God is doing in others, rather than a joy that comes out of our own circumstances.

In other words, if we want to experience joy, we must "get outside ourselves." And sometimes suffering is what God brings into our lives to shock us out of our self-absorption.

Caveat...this is what God is teaching us...it's not what I've learned yet! I'd much prefer for God to teach me these things through easy, patient circumstances not suffering. I realize that what I need is a change in perspective on suffering. And quite frankly, I'm afraid to ask for it! Because God is true to His Word and I'm afraid He'll say "Ask and you shall receive." And I'm not quite ready (willing? – Ouch!) for more suffering. So please pray for me what I can't pray for myself – pray for a change in my perspective on suffering. (If you'd like me to pray the same for you, let me know.)

Reasons for Joy — Philippians 1

As we study Philippians, widely known as the "book of joy," we're praying specifically that God would teach us more about joy as we walk through difficult circumstances. Having completed chapter 1 in our study, I am most impressed that the things Paul takes most joy in are:

(1) that the gospel is preached regardless of his circumstances (or perhaps even because of his undesireable circumstances); and

(2) that God is working in the lives of people in whom he has invested.

Over and over again Paul takes joy in what is happening or will happen in the lives of the Philippians, the church he founded ten years earlier. Paul is saying that investing in others and seeing God work in their lives is a source of joy that transcends our circumstances. Further, the Philippians will rejoice with Paul when he is released from prison and able to be with them again. They will rejoice in what God does in Paul's life.

The joy of Christian fellowship is the ability to rejoice in what God is doing in one another's lives. There's no place for competition or jealousy. There's only place for rejoicing at the goodness of a God who works in all our lives to accomplish His purposes.

We were talking about how undoubtedly not everyone in the Philippian church would have the growth or consistency in their lives that would seem to be a reason for rejoicing. Someone in the study said that's when we need to have vision, not sight (thanks Matthew). In other words, look for what God is doing in the lives of others, don't just see what's on the surface; look for what God is doing in a situation, don't just see how a situation is affecting you. When you have God's vision, not just earthly sight, there is always cause for rejoicing.

Hallelujah! My circumstances might be sad or scary or less than I'd like them to be in any number of ways, but God is working (remember Grace, the double-powered prayer!) and when I can't have vision for what He's doing in me, I can look around at what He's doing in the lives of people I've invested in over the years. And I can see the goodness of a God who is always good.

Next blog: The goodness of a God who "gives us the opportunity" to suffer for Him!

On Obedience

We recently studied the book of Jonah. One of the lessons from the book is that obedience (and disobedience) to the Lord impacts those around us significantly. Jonah’s obedience impacted not only his life, but the lives of the sailors on the ship to Tarshish and the Ninevites. In the Old Testament we see God working hard to instill this principle in His people by establishing community rules, community blessings and community punishments. One man sins in secret (Achan) and the army loses its battle at Ai. One woman helps the spies and she saves not only herself but also her family. In doing so Rahab became a great grandmother of David — that puts her in the direct lineage of Jesus! Her obedience has had a direct impact on my life! Now that’s far reaching affects!

Yes, Your Obedience Impacts Others
We forget this in our society. "I’m my own person" we think. "I can do what I want with my body" we hear. And we live our lives oblivious of the wear and tear on those around us — both those we know and those we don’t know.

It’s a scary thing to think that my obedience to the Lord can impact people I’ve never met and will never know. But it can and I would even go further to say that it does. Because when I only say "it can" that leaves an "out" for me to think "well, yeah, it CAN, but will it really?" Yes, it really will.

A.W. Tozer was saved in Akron, Ohio after walking past a church and hearing the preacher say "If you want to know Jesus, go to your attic and ask God to reveal Him to you." C.S. Lewis was curious so he followed the preacher’s instructions. And He came to know Christ. Every single person who has been impacted by anyone who has been impacted by anything C.S. Lewis wrote or said owes a debt to that unnamed preacher in Akron, Ohio. Mr. No Name Preacher’s obedience to the Lord has impacted my life.

Your Struggles in Obedience Lead to Your Maturity
I have occasionally had people tell me that something I did or said really impacted them and strengthened their walk with the Lord. My typical reaction is "really?" or "who, me?" Now I’m Christian-ized enough to actually say something like "Praise God!" or "God is good, isn’t He?" But I’m thinking "are you kidding me? I didn’t do anything? I’m just struggling to live out my own walk with Him."

But it’s in that struggle of everyday living that we rub shoulders with others and that rubbing sometimes offers encourages, sometimes sharpens edges that have become dull and sometimes rounds off overly sharp edges. "Maturity flows form the mundane," our pastor said last week. The getting up and going to work every day, the taking care of the family, the give and take of a good marriage. The mundane.

God Has Already Figured Out All There is to Figure Out in Your Obedience
Sometimes I’m not quickly obedient because I think my obedience will have a negative impact on others around me. How wrong is that thinking? If God has told me to do something, yes I need to be sensitive to those around me, but I also need to trust that He has (or will) use my obedience to work in their lives — regardless of what it seems to me the (negative) impact of that obedience will be. Because He's already figured out all that stuff. All I need to do is take the next step of obedience. Because it really does impact those around me...for their good as well as mine.

Comment by dansdesk
Eli starts Kindergarten today. I have this constantly nagging thought about how much my disobedience will affect him and his siblings. I so desperately want them not to repeat my sins. I once heard Rob Bell say that one way to honor your father and mother was not to repeat their sins.
Tuesday August 21, 2007 - 06:28am (EDT)

Response by Sandyhov
Big Day at the Grhamm household!
Tuesday August 21, 2007 - 10:25am (EDT)

Comment by Sandyhov
I've been pondering Dan's last comment...that he once heard Rob Bell say that one way to honor your father and mother is not to repeat their sins. I'm not sure how that works...I guess it's honoring to them because it means we were paying attention? I agree that a life well-lived honors our parents. Otherwise, I don't quite get the connection. Anybody out there have any thots?
Thursday August 23, 2007 - 10:55pm (EDT)

Abounding in Love

Philippians 1:9-11 records Paul’s prayer for the Philippians. Out of all the things he could have prayed for them, he prays this "that your love may abound more and more." Notice that he didn’t pray that their holiness would abound more and more, or that their sanctification would abound more and more, or even that they would abound more and more in Christ-likeness. He prayed that their love would abound more and more.

Now granted, abounding in love is incredibly Christ-like...actually, I’d say it pretty much defines Christ-likeness. Yet what we tend to focus on in prayer and in holiness/sanctification doctrine and teaching is behaviors, not love. Yes, love involves our behavior. Paul goes on to pray that their love would abound more and more "in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may be able to discern what is best" — in other words, that our abounding love would lead us to making right choices that would make us "pure and blameless...filled with the fruit of righeousness that comes through Jesus Christ." But I wonder if we often put the cart before the horse by trying to teach and monitor and reward behavior instead of love.

Of course, that begs the question — how do you teach, monitor and reward love? I really don’t know. I suppose for a start we ought to recognize selfless, loving acts more than Bible knowledge, preaching, teaching or worship leading. In our culture, we clearly "applaud" great knowledge, preaching, teaching and worship leading more than we "applaud" demonstrating love.

Any thots?

A Lightness in My Heart

I woke up very tired this morning...too short a night that followed a week of very long days and short nights. Perfect prescription for crankiness. But God is greater and I am thankful.

I woke up with a lightness in my heart this morning. I am singing to the Lord and finding nuggets of wonder in His Word. I haven't felt this lightness of heart in a long, long time.

So my mind wants to know "what changed?" "what did I do that made the difference?" Was it our study in Philippians (the "book of joy")? We made a hard decision last night, but was it having the decision behind us that brought a certainty (in the midst of uncertainty) that lightened my heart? Was it a major new project that I've committed to that has given me joyful energy this morning?

I think the most accurate answer to the question "What did I do that made the difference?" is that I did very, very little. God is sovereign and in His sovereignty, He said "now." He said "enough" to the heaviness and "now" to the joy. Yes, I obediently and to the best of my limited ability put myself in a place where He could bless me — I continued to read, pray, join with other believers, worship, journal and study — but I have been doing those things all along with seemingly little impact or result. But God.

In that last paragraph is one of the biggest lies the enemy feeds us — "with seemingly little impact or result." Last week as Phil & I talked about this decision we needed to make I said (clearly speaking through the Holy Spirit because my heart was discouraged at the time) "We are fools if we don't believe in our hearts that God is working behind the scenes in this and has or is preparing a perfect answer for us." Those little actions that seemingly have no impact have impact in the spiritual world — impact that we can't always see or know. But they have impact! It just takes God's timing for us to see the result.

Yep, I know this is motherhood, but it' motherhood that I need to be reminded of over and over again. That God is moving on my (and your) behalf and that my prayers and my obedience have impact even when when I don't see it.

Because one day I woke up with a lightness of heart. Will it stay light or will the first three phone calls snuff it out? I don't know, but I do know that it's lighter than it's been and I trust that it'll be lighter still as I continue "keeping on" in Christ.

Grace and peace! Coming to a heart near you...

Grace, The Double-Powered Prayer; Peace, Restored to Oneness

A small group of us are studying the book of Philippians. Last night we did chapter 1. So much good stuff, I had to blog a little about it. Today I'll share briefly about Paul's greeting. Tomorrow (or at least some day soon), I'll share about "abounding in love."

Paul's greeting in the letter is twofold — a salutation and a blessing. The blessing is "grace and peace to you." Pretty simple. But we looked at the words.

Grace — The word for grace is "charis" which means not just the unmerited favor we receive from God, but also it's "reflection in [our] life" according to Strong's Greek Dictionary. I don't often think of that when I think of grace. When I pray "grace," I'm not just praying for God's favor to be shown to someone (or myself), I'm also praying for the reflection of that grace — the outward expression of it in our lives. That's pretty cool! It's like the prayer is doing double-duty or has double power. I'm not sure why, but this has me pretty jazzed.

Peace — Not the absence of conflict, but a restoration to oneness, quietness and rest. That sounds a whole lot more like a spiritual thing to me than a relational thing. My spirit so often needs to be restored to oneness with God, to experience quietness and rest in the midst of a crazy world. I'm reminded of the spiritual formation "exercises" or practices that I've largely allowed to fall by the wayside.

Paul blessed the Philippians with grace and peace at a time when they were experiencing persecution — being falsely accused, arrested and thrown in prison. He was saying "may your soul be at rest with the Father and your life be a reflection of His grace in your life." Wow! all that in just 3 words — "grace and peace."

Grace and peace, friends.

God's Whisperings

Today God’s been whispering to me ...how many times have I prayed ..."make me more like Jesus"..."I want to know You more, Lord"...how could that possibly happen without difficult times in which I can reveal God’s character and qualities? ...how could that possibly happen without people treating me in such a way that I must learn, practice and demonstrate patience and forgiveness? ...how could that possible happen without facing uncertainty and confusion so that God can show me His faithfulness?

Lord, it’s hard. I don’t want to practice those things. Help me to rejoice in You. Help me to choose to rejoice in You.

Hard things to hear (because I know I haven’t been revealing Christ as much as I’d like to be)...yet I love it when God whispers in my ear.

Thank You, Lord.

What Is God Really Like? How Does God Act?

While reading this morning, I was struck by the differences between the God of the Old Testament and the God of the New Testament and the God of today. Yes, I know...God is the same yesterday, today and forever. I know that. I believe that.

Yet even a surface read of the Bible reveals that He doesn’t always look and act the same way. I’m currently reading the Bible in three places. In John I've just read about have just seen Lazarus brought back to life. In Joshua I've just learned about the various parcels of land that were given to the different tribes. In Zephaniah I read a prophetic message of radical destruction delivered to the Baal worshipers in Judah. Those passages provide pretty different images of God. We know that Jesus wasn’t anything like what the Jews of Israel were expecting in a Messiah.

It makes me wonder what misconceptions we have about God because we only see what He’s doing in our generation. Just thinking about this a little makes makes a really strong case for studying Scripture (both Old and New Testaments) — so that we get a more well-rounded understanding of God. It also makes a strong case for checking out what God is doing in other areas of the globe and especially in churches outside our own. I've found that we get so "me" oriented in our own churches that we become blind to what God is doing outside our church.

It's so easy to begin to believe that our church does it best! Every pastor (and probably every committed church member) I've known has been bipolar in their presentation of this message — every pastor specifically conveys both that there are many churches in their area and different churches are the best choices for different people AND that their church is the best. Perhaps that's just a function of needing to believe that what we're doing has value.

But I digress. I hope that everyone is in the church that God wants them to be in. But I also have great hope that everyone recognizes the value of other churches and I even secretly hope that occasionally people take a break from their church to see what God is doing in other churches. Because it helps us to see that God is more than what we see Him as in our own church. He's doing more. He's got more facets to His personality.

Has your image/perspective of God been challenged lately? If so, let me know. If not, take a walk on the wild side and visit a different kind of worship service sometime in the next few weeks. Ask God to reveal how He's working in such a different environment. I bet you'll be glad you did. Let me know!

Comment by dansdesk
I'm going to be posting a past sermon soon called "God in a box." It is very similar to what you are talking about. Good stuff!
Thursday July 19, 2007 - 04:22pm (EDT)

Response by Sandyhov
I'm looking forward to it.
Monday July 23, 2007 - 11:25pm (EDT)

Between Two Worlds

Now you might read this title and think I’m going to write something really deep about being a Christian living in a world in which I’m a foreigner, waiting for a new and better Kingdom to come.

You’d be wrong.

I’m writing instead about living between the worlds of evangelicalism and pentecostalism. Yep, that’s me. I know I’m not alone. While attending grad school, there were a number of students that described themselves as “bapticostal” or some similar title. Many charismatics/pentecostals “live” incognito in evangelical churches. I’m not sure I’ve ever met an evangelical who’s lived incognito in a charismatic/pentecostal church, but there are probably some out there.

Phil & I prefer the title “empowered evangelicals” stolen from the title of Rich Nathan’s book. Great book. He finds a way to bring both sides together, avoiding extremes in all issues, but allowing for the Spirit to move freely and in power. (Well, maybe not as freely as some from a pentecostal background might prefer!) :-)

We have often felt that God had called us to be “bridge people” – called to influence the opinion of our evangelical brethren toward charismaticism and vice versa. For much of our Christian life, we’ve “lived” as empowered evangelicals in evangelical churches. We often felt like we had to hide the “empowered” side of our walk with the Lord, at least until people knew us and trusted us...because we're WAY more charismatic than our evangelical friends suspect. We’re currently living as empowered evangelicals in a church with strong pentecostal roots. We sometimes feel like we need to hide our evangelical leanings in the same way...because we're way more evangelical than our pentecostal friends suspect.

You know, guys…God is way bigger than this. His “personality” is both evangelical and pentecostal. And He desires for His Church to be a reflection of Him. Can’t we all just get along?
I’m sure my tension in this area will come thru in these blogs. Feel free to add your comments.

Comment from dansdesk
You've certainly helped move me to a more balanced position. Thanks! I need to read that book!Dan
Thursday July 19, 2007 - 04:17pm (EDT)

Routines

I’ve spent almost the last hour looking for a quote. It’s a really good quote, but I can’t find it. So I’m going to paraphrase it..."The best thing for a dull mind is to break up the routine." Now that’s not original, The original was much more eloquent. Unfortunately, I can’t remember who said it, either. I’m guessing A.W. Tozer or C.S. Lewis. Oh well please pretend it’s eloquent and properly cited. (If anyone can find the real quote, I’d be much abliged to you if you were to pass the info on to me.)

Everyone...yes, EVERYONE, has a routine that provides structure to their lives. For some, the routine is easily recognizable and looks (from the outside) very constricting. For others, it may appear that there’s nothing but haphazardness about someone’s life...but upon close inspection, one will find a routine, even if it’s only the routine of sleeping and waking with an obvious eschewing of any routine in between. Even the eschewing of routine is a form of routine that provides structure to the person’s life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about routine lately because Phil has a new job and it’s messing with our routines. It’s a part time job — 20 hours a week — but different hours every week and at least so far it’s been constantly changing. We’re told that it will repeat, but in the 2 months he’s been there that’s not proven to be the case. This new non-routine has caused many of the things that have defined who we are as a couple no longer exist. I’m sure that sounds overstated, but it’s certainly how it feels. (I guess this is where I lecture myself on truth vs. perceptions — perception is NOT reality — truth is reality...but that’s a topic for another blog.) You see, as a couple, we had routines related to when we woke up, when we ate, when we worked, when we played and when we "talked about our day." Now that’s all jumbled up.

Phil’s new job isn’t the only thing prompting these wonderings about routine. When my dad died, I felt as if all of my internal structures has been shattered. It both made sense and it made no sense. It made no sense because I hadn’t actually depended on Dad for anything over the past 20 years or more (except perhaps the occasional advice...which I usually didn’t follow anyway). Yet it made sense because something that had been truth for 51 years, suddenly, on the first day of my 52nd year of life was no longer true. My dad had existed, had been alive...now he isn’t. And truth isn’t supposed to change. And the internal structure that had existed because of that fact had been shattered. Weird.

So I’m meditating a bit on the subject of "routine." Routine provides structure for our lives. Yet occasionally it must be jumbled up a bit to bring us out of the slumber it nurtures. A.W. Tozer recognized this when he wrote "Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth" (The Pursuit of God: p. 17).

Undoubtedly, God is a God of routine and structure. He created a world with day and night, high tide and low tide, summer and winter. Yet He recognizes our sinful tendency to not appreciate that which we have and to become self-absorbed when we’re not absorbed with something greater than ourselves. So He built into our lives seasons that jumble up the routines — seasons of mourning and seaons of joy, seasons of success and seasons of failure.

We like to pretend that we should always be at the top of our game, or at least nearing the top with the top just another step or two ahead of us. But that’s not consistent with Scripture — either the teaching or the experience documented in Scripture. "To everything there is a season" Ecclesiastes tells us. Part of "everything" is joy AND sadness, success AND failure.
Enough rambling! Suffice it to say that God has been jumbling my routines. From what I read in other blogs and from what I hear talking to others, I’m not alone. Here’s to God doing NEW things in our lives — yours and mine. May we all be open to them.

Comment by dansdesk
Good thoughts! I'm not saying this about you but I wonder how often God shakes up my routine because it's a "bad" routine!
Thursday July 19, 2007 - 04:16pm (EDT)

Response by Sandyhov
I'm absolutely positive (for me, not you) that it's sometimes shaken because it's a "bad" routine. This current shaking is a prime example. There were many reasons for Phil taking the part-time job at the hospital, but part of it was that we just came to a point where after almost 20 years in business it was a bit unhealthy for Phil & I to be working together at Data Designs as we were. We needed more outside interaction. He needed to be around people more. Yes, God's shaking is scary but good.
Monday July 30, 2007 - 09:21pm (EDT)

What Every Little Girl Wants

As we worshiped our Father God in church on Father's Day, what occurred to me was that what every little girl really wants (and needs) is the approval of her father. Every little girl wants to know that her Daddy is proud of her. Maybe every little boy needs that, too. I don’t know, but I imagine it’s true.

One thing that revolutionized my spiritual life a number of years ago was developing the strong understanding that God DELIGHTS in me -- that I am His delight! Wow! He doesn't just love me, He enjoys me.

I’m so happy and blessed to have the approval of my Heavenly Father.

I'm also blessed to have had the approval of my earthly father...I just didn't understand that all the time. I had to become an adult (and not a young adult) before I began to understand my Dad. My aunt said it best in her comments about Dad in his guest book -- Dad never hesitated to let us know when he thought we were messing up -- that was for our own good, of course.

So Dads -- don't hesitate to show your daughters how much you love and approve of them.

And everyone -- God is infinitely delighted in you! That's worthy of celebration!

"The Club"

Losing a parent is like joining a club you've never wanted to join. It is an experience unlike any other (not that I've had all "other" experiences, of course). And it so totally changes you forever. One thing this process has taught me is that there is a whole lot more to the spiritual realm than we understand. Why is it that there is an "emptiness" or a "nothing-ness" where that person once existed? My brother, for example, lives in S. Carolina. He saw dad seldom. He didn't talk to him very often. Yet he senses the "nothing-ness" of dad that wasn't there before. I sense it too, of course, but I'm local. It is very strange.

Anyway, that's not what this blog is about! (Sure seems like it, doesn't it?)

This blog is about "the club" that no one wants to join. The club for people who have lost a parent. Everyone who is in the club understands what you're going through. Everyone not in the club doesn't begin to understand. I don't say this to denigrate those who aren't in the club. It's just that I've been fascinated at how people in the club treat me differently from people outside the club.

It's been 2.5 months since my dad died. People who are in the club still have a strong compassion in their voice when they ask me how I'm doing. It's just never "Hi! How are you?" in that "it's the common way to greet people" tone of voice. The voice, the look, the hug all convey "I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how hard it is and if I can do anything to help, please call me." Even if I say in an upbeat voice "I'm doing well." They look at me a second time to confirm that my words ring true with my behavior and appearance. (Yes, folks, that's love in action.)

People who aren't in the club yet have pretty much forgotten that I had a life-altering experience a couple of months ago. They're surprised that I might still be dealing with any part of it. That's OK. I'm surprised I'm still dealing with it, too. Within about 2 weeks people who aren't in the club went back to the "Hi! How are you?" greeting. These people don't in any lack love, they're just not in the club yet so they don't understand what's happened.

I watched Phil grieve when his mom died. I did what I could. But I wasn't in the club yet. And as my dad was dying, sometimes I'd say something and Phil would look at me with very sad eyes that kindly conveyed "you don't understand what's about to happen." He was in the club. I wasn't. I guess I was in training for the club, though.

I'm not writing this to evoke sympathy. I really am doing pretty well most of the time these days. I freak out a little easier than the "normal" Sandy does, but most of the time I'm good. It has just fascinated me that I feel like I've joined the club that no one wants to be a part of.

Comment from dansdesk
100% agree! Sometimes, I desperately want people to feel some sympathy for how I am feeling but then I get mad at myself for feeling sorry for myself. You said it well. Those who haven't experienced it don't understand it as well as those who haven't. That certainly applies to many other situations in life -- single parenting, loss of a child, loss of a job, serious illness, etc. Thanks for being so articulate!
Friday June 15, 2007 - 12:27pm (EDT)

Resting

Psalm 139: 3a You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest.

Scripture is so full of "resting" and we so often miss it. We pray about and assure ourselves that God will lead and guide us, and of course He does. But our prayers are always leading and guiding us to action.

Scripture also teaches us that he leads and guides us to rest. I wonder how often we miss that lead? And I wonder what the price is?

In the Old Testament, the Hebrews were taken into the Babylonian captivity for 70 years. God didn’t just make up that timeframe — 2 Chronicles 36:20-21 explains to us that during the captivity "the land finally enjoyed it’s Sabbath rest, lying desolate for seventy years, just as as the prophet had said."

I’m convinced that practicing a Sabbath is a discipline that honors God and from which we gain immeasurable benefits, but that’s the subject for another blog. For today, I am just surprised at Psalm 139. God tells us where to stop and rest.

Lord, let me hear you when you tell me to stop and rest.

Lasting Memories & Family Entertainment

OK, this will be my last blog about that community prayer meeting last week...and I won't always be blogging about dancing, I promise, but it was a special night of worship.

During worship/intercession last Monday night, a young mother began to dance. It wasn’t ballet-type dancing, but a more “freestyle” dancing. Soon her two young sons came into the sanctuary. I watched as they went over to their mom and began to dance with her. Shortly after that her teenage daughter joined the family dance. When the mom looked up and saw her daughter’s friend sitting nearby she invited her to join the dance. This is a “normal” family with the normal ups and downs, trials, tribulations and successes that all families have. As I watched them, my only thought was “what lasting memories those children have.” As their father led the worship team, they danced with joy in the Lord with their mom. Now THAT’s family values and family “entertainment” at its best.

Praise God for parents who dance with their children.

Comment by Shanna
aweee..shucks! Thank you. I Love to dance with my kids. They really get into it. God's really blessed me (with nearly perfect kids). I love to watch them in the presence of the King.

From Marching to Dancing

A few days ago I blogged about God invading our churches. It was about a prayer made during a community wide worship and prayer meeting. Here's something else that came out of that meeting.

WARNING: If dancing is against your theology, you might want to suspend that prohibition for the next few minutes.

During worship at a recent community prayer meeting, the beat transitioned from gentle praise to the anticipation of a battle. As it grew stronger and stronger, my feet began to move in time, as if marching in formation as the Lord called out His army. But as I marched in place and the beat grew ever stronger, my feet began to “itch” to do something fancier. My thought was “Lord, this is a call to war beat, not a dancing beat. Our prayer focus now is calling men of the church to arise and take their place.” I felt God answer, “Dance, daughter, dance.”
Still I resisted because it wasn’t a time of dance, it was a time of marching (according to my brain). Yet my feet and spirit continued to say “dance.”

So I began to dance…a little. And as I began to move my feet in dance instead of in marching, God reminded me that dancing before Him is as much a part of warfare as marching to battle is. In fact, I believe there are times when dancing is stronger warfare. Our strength, our greatest weapon, is the elevation of Jesus. Our marching demonstrates to the enemy that we are on the move against Him. Our dancing shows the enemy that the Lord is our delight. It is that delight that is our greatest weapon against the things the enemy will throw at us to ruin our witness and our lives…he will put before us lies that will discourage us, de-motivate us, distress us, and deter us from pursuing our One True Purpose – to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.

So I’ll march to war, but when I get to the battlefield, I hope to be dancing. Because the dance says “Satan, let me introduce you to my Savior, Christ. He is my delight and He is my life’s dance partner. Anything you have to say to me, you can say to Him. He’ll handle it.”

Let’s dance!

Comment from Shanna
What a night! I couldn't stop, I was so overtaken by the Spirit in dance I thought I was going to explode. Watching the Lord overcome the children into dance was beautiful. The flow from dance to falling on my face before the King-What an awesome God that wants to just dance with you. I always enjoy watching you worship (not tahat I stare) but you have really helped me to step out in my own dance. Sandy you are an amazing woman of God, I look up to you more than you could ever imagine... Keep on dancin'!
Monday June 11, 2007 - 03:07pm (EDT)

Response from Sandyhov
Yep, what a night. Read the next blog -- it's about you!
Tuesday June 12, 2007 - 10:43pm (EDT)

Comment from Shanna
hey its tayler- hi nice blog, and thank u for your comments about us!
Tuesday June 12, 2007 - 11:36pm (EDT)

Comment from dansdesk
I'm jealous -- as a Baptist and as someone in the grieving process!
Wednesday June 13, 2007 - 03:40pm (EDT)

Response from Sandyhov..
Hey Dan -- you could always bust a move some Wednesday night! :-)
Wednesday June 13, 2007 - 09:06pm (EDT)

Comment from dansdesk
Amanda and I were at a "non-church" wedding a couple of weekends ago and she was planning on showing me a few moves but we had to get home for the Cavs game and to finish up my SS lesson.
Thursday June 14, 2007 - 11:32am (EDT)

Response from Sandyhov
:-)
Thursday June 14, 2007 - 08:15pm (EDT)

God's Ways

So if you read my last entry you'd know that I made an error in formatting of the entries from Dad's Online Guest Book and that caused me to experience a wave of grief. Well, today we went and had new copies made...and in the process saw that the color laser printer we've been considering went down in price $125 from Friday when we printed the wrong version of the Guest Book. So a little bit of time and grief saved us $125 (because yes, we bought the printer). I'm praising God today for the error that gave me a reason to return to the store today.

Grief, Monsters & Tributes

I guess I should warn you. I’m still grieving the death of my dad. I say still, but it’s only been two and a half months. Experts say it’ll take lots longer.

Anyway, the upshot is that I’m somewhat emotionally unstable right now. That’s normal I understand, but it sure is unpleasant. I can be “dancing” one minute and desperately trying not to be pulled down in the undertow of a wave of grief the next.

Most of the time I’m doing pretty well. But I feel like Father’s Day is this huge dark monster that is barreling toward me wanting to smother me.

There’s been one task I just can’t bring myself to do. We had an online guest book for Dad and I downloaded all the entries and have formatted them into an attractive book. For the life of me I haven’t been able to walk into Staples and get it copied. Just can’t do it.

So Phil did it for me today. It looks great. I put two copies in envelopes to my sister and brother. Then I actually looked at it. It’s missing the first entry — the one I wrote to my dad. I thought they had made a printing error, so I went into my PDF file. My PDF was wrong. So I assumed that I had replaced a page incorrectly or something. No, my original document is wrong. And I no longer have any other resource to find what I had written. I lost it (not the paper, my emotional control). (I can’t believe how important this is to me.)

Then I remembered that I had thrown away a printout from the online guest book. Months ago. Would it still be in my throw-away paper box? I started going through it, page by page, not expecting to find anything. I hadn’t sifted through 20 pages before I found it! Trust me, it should not have been there. I threw it away about May 1st and I throw away LOTS of paper every day. For it to be at the top of the box is nothing but the grace of God. Thank You, Lord.
So I will ask Phil to go back to Staples and make new copies. It’s worth the additional $18. It’s worth the hassle. We had no memorial service. This is the only “tribute” I have.

Having written this, I know there are several “lies” in it. Not lies I am telling, lies the enemy is telling me. Of course it’s not my only “tribute” to Dad. The best tribute to him is a life well lived. Scripture teaches us to honor our father and mother, that we may have a long life. Honoring one’s parents doesn’t end when their earthly life ends.

And of course, the dark monster of Father’s Day grief isn’t going to smother me. In fact, if my limited experience in this teaches me anything, the anticipation of it will be worse than the actual day. (OK, so stop anticipating it, right?) At most, the monster will cloud out the sun for a day and then go back into hiding.

Grief come in waves and they’re waves that are best succumbed to for a time. Not wallowed in, but not resisted either. Both are unhealthy. Neither promotes emotional healing. I wish there was a magic pill that brought instant healing. Because this is no fun. But I’m reminded of a line in worship song that is one of my favorites — “When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say — Blessed be the Name of the Lord, blessed be the Name. Blessed be the Name of the Lord, Blessed be Your Glorious Name.”

I thank God for His grace toward me and toward my Dad. And I thank Him for healing, because I am so much better today, June 8th, than I was on April 8th or May 8th.

I hate the narcistic nature of this blog, but perhaps it will minister to someone. God remains good and He remains faithful. All the time.

Comment by dansdesk…
I don't think I've handled my mom's death near as well as you have your dads. I've been mulling over some similar blogs related to my grieving process. We should continue to compare "notes" because I'm certainly not healing as quickly as I would have liked. Dan Ghramm www.dansdesk.org
Wednesday June 13, 2007 - 03:38pm (EDT)

Response by Sandyhov
The thing I have found to be most helpful have been:
(1) Reading about grieving -- it assures me that I'm not losing my mind and that everything I'm going through is normal.
(2) Listening a teaching by a strong Christian teacher -- it assured me that it's OK to be this messed up even as a Christian.(
3) Cutting myself lots of slack. In the Jewish culture, the sit Shiva (sp?) for a month after a death...then they resume normal life activity. I think there's lots of wisdom in that. I know I'm easily overwhelmed (less so all the time, but still more so than the "normal" Sandy) so I build more downtime into my schedule -- even if it means not participating in things that other people expect me to participate in.
(4) Of course lots of praying friends. This has got me thinking...I think I'll blog about the "club" aspect of losing a parent...later tonight or tomorrow. Peace to you my friend.
Thursday June 14, 2007 - 08:21pm (EDT)

God Invading Our Churches

Once a month our church and another church meet together to pray for God to move in our city, our region and our country. Tonight, Pastor Rob prayed for churches from all traditions, and then prayed “God invade our meetings.”

As we prayed, it occurred to me that God invading our meetings will look very different in different traditions. It’s usually charismatics and Pentecostals that make such prayers and, quite frankly, whether they admit it or not, they probably have it in their minds that very, shall we say, “non-traditional” things will happen. Things that you wouldn’t find in a Baptist or a Presbyterian church.

Yet I remain a firm believer that denominations, despite their difficulties, have strong benefits and that they have each played their role in the preservation of one or more “pillars” of the faith. (Read Rick Joyner's great book The Final Quest for more thoughts on this.) And so, God invading the churches of different denominations will look very different. The Presbyterians are historically strong in scholarship; the Lord invading their meetings in a fresh way would naturally lead to greater scholarship today and that scholarship could lead to both greater revelation and evangelism of the intellectuals. (I think we'd all agree that the intellectuals need evangelized, right?) Baptists are strong in organized evangelism; a fresh invasion of the Holy Spirit would naturally revitalize their love for the Lord and passion for the lost. As the Catholics’ love for the Lord is renewed by a fresh outpouring within their churches, the beauty of the Lord and tradition that connects modern saints with saints throughout the history of the church would be raised to new heights. When God invades the Methodist church anew, spiritual formation and spiritual disciplines will be given greater attention. New life will be breathed into personal holiness as God invades Nazarene churches.

That’s certainly not all denominations, but imagine, how much more “ready” the Bride will be when each of these pillars is strengthened? Then, as the Church becomes One in Christ, as we learn to love our brethren across denominations, how much greater, how much richer, will the teachings be that we offer to one another in our areas of strength? A phrase comes to mind... “The Bride has made herself ready.”

Lord, invade our meetings…all of them…and help us to grow in our love for one another as we reflect Christ.

comment from dansdesk…
What about the Friends? :)
Wednesday June 13, 2007 - 03:28pm (EDT)


comment from sandyhov
As a denomination...missions...social justice (they were very big in the underground railroad & freeing slaves).
Saturday June 16, 2007 - 12:23am (EDT)

Misgivings

The instructions [on the service I used for my first blog] said...Compose a first blog entry that is sure to impress. I'm not sure this will impress, perhaps it's more likely to annoy, but here goes...

So I finally started a blog. (Actually, I started it on 6/3 and "practiced" for several days before committing. Having decided to "commit," I'm posting my original and a few other blogs from the past week.)

I’ve been thinking about blogging for a long time...but just never jumped before. Lots of pros and cons kept me from taking the plunge:

Pros
- I have always viewed myself as a writer. Blogging provides both an outlet and a motivation to be disciplined.
- I already journal regularly. My Journal for 2007 is more than 30 pages…but there hasn’t been an entry in more than a week.

Cons
- Can I sustain a blog? Without regular entries, they waste away on the vine.
- In all honesty, blogs just seem a bit too egotistical for me to be totally comfortable with them. Who really cares what I think about subjects ranging from…well, whatever to whatever? I find many blogs to be pretty self-focused and largely boring with the occasional really, really good insight thrown in. I don’t want to add to the inane-ness of it all.
- I’m not sure how comfortable I am writing a self-disclosing blog, and I don’t think anything less has value.
- Then there’s the time commitment of a blog that has regular, meaningful entries.
Having said all that, perhaps it’s time to begin blogging. The sooner I start, the sooner I can learn from my mistakes, right? I’ll try to keep it interesting. Hope you enjoy it.


Comment by Shanna
good job! Way to put yourself out there. This will be good. I would love to do something like this someday... but not today. :-) I love to hear your insight, looking forward to more. Love ya!
Saturday June 9, 2007 - 11:24pm (EDT)